the frequent change of the weather, either creates smiles on faces or turn them upside down. personally ever since the flood in orchard, im quite frighten whenever it rains considering the fact that i love the rain. and this morning, the wind howls so strongly and freely. i heard (from a little birdie) that a "NO ENTRY" sign was pulled out from the ground. its amazing how a nothing can actually do something.

nevertheless life goes on as written in our books of life. i was almost knocked down by a car yesterday when i was climbing a multi-storey carpark. the keyword here is almost.
"you werent gonna die, you know?"
"yeahh thats why i said almost..."
"no as in, its already written that you werent going to die today."
-__-

"as you get to know Islam better and deeper, you wouldnt care if you were going to hell or heaven."
"why?"
"because all you want is to see Him"
im still thinking on that my dear friend.

conscious really is a struggle for some people. its like being trapped in a bubble. you can see whats going on around you but kept relying on the perception that everyone should be in the bubble with you. and you refuse to let anyone come near your bubble, because its YOUR bubble. but yet you still want them to be with you.
how now brown cow?

sitting here for a few hours now trying to pen things down in the most delicate way i could possibly can with a pile of groceries still in their paper bags waiting for me to uncover them, puts even more pressure on me to end this entry in a classic manner. it doesnt help that my bloodsisters are taking a nap when they can help me with the chores that had dawned on me. this is call sisterlove. so untrue.

im scratching you off my list from now til forever. you have a fun life alright.

im fierce and feroCIOUS - Tyra Banks

Christina Aguilera
You Lost Me

I am done, smoking gun
We've lost it all, the love is gone
She has won, now it's no fun
We've lost it all, the love is gone

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

And we tried, oh how we cried
We lost ourselves, the love has died
And though we tried you can't deny
We're left as shells, we lost the fight

And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn't keep your hands to yourself

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

Now I know you're sorry and we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
And you'll regret it, but it's too late
How can I ever trust you again?

I feel like our world's been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We've found our lives been changed
Babe, you lost me

and i vomit out what was left inside of me.
sadness and loneliness.
everytime i was reminded of you.
and everytime, i always wanted to run back to you and hug you so ever tightly.
never wanting to let you go.
yet again.
i just knew i couldnt do it anymore.
i miss how those eyes look at me with a twinkle in them.
and i just know what exact is going through your mind, your heart.
i miss your arms around me, where they belong.
its a definite no, baby.
no.



Broken Strings
James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

Im thinking of you. Like alot.
But i dont have time to write it all down now.
Il be back. I promise.

Wow.
Its been a year.
And now im back to waiting for another full-time job, which i cant wait to start on.
But first, i have to meditate. Haha.

I cant believe its been a year since i started my first full-time job and earning for the family. Although there are four others who too are providing for the family, i do feel the ache in the back, due to certain reasons.

I must say i have accomplished alot more than i have expected and done things i didnt think i could in a year. Like spending the night by the beach with friends and getting myself an itouch on my first paycheck, without even thinking twice. Being able to give my parents a sum of money from my pay is a great feeling.

There's also things that i wish i could accomplish before the year ends like getting my licence which i aimed to get it as my birthday present this June. Total disappointment. And a great birthday party; double disappointment.

However, these are things in life i believe that keeps me going. Keeps me wanting to achieve them even more, although it brought me down to the ground so hard. Because i believe i can make those dreams a reality. Some dreams are just meant to be kept in bed.

Yakult reminds me of you.
Rainy days reminds me of your warmth.
Sand, sun and sea reminds me of your salty lips.
The full moon reminds me of February 2009.
The stars reminds me of your promise.

Part Of The List
Ne Yo

Style of your hair
Shape of your eyes and your nose
The way you stare as if you see right through to my soul
It's your left hand and the way it's not quite big as your right
The way you stand in the mirror before we go out at night
Our quiet time, your beautiful mind

They're a part of the list
things that I miss
things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
what I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce

The way your sweet smell lingers when you leave a room
Stories you tell as we lay in bed all afternoon
I dream you now, every night, in my mind is where we meet
And when I'm awake staring at pictures of you asleep
Touching your face
Invading your space

They're a part of the list
Things that miss things that I miss
things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
what I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce
Oh
Will you live in my memories forevermore I swear
and you live in my memories forevermore I swear

They're a part of the list
Things that miss
Things that I miss
Things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss
What I notice is this
I come up with
Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce

Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa
Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa



And all that is good, will surely come to an end.

Diana Krall
Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams, whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams, whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Home
Diana Ross

When I think of home
I think of a place where there's love overflowing
I wish I was home
I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing

Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning
Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning
Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back there
Now that I have some direction
It would sure be nice to be back home
Where there's love and affection
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up
Time be my friend, let me start again

Suddenly my world has changed it's face
But I still know where I'm going
I have had my mind spun around in space
And yet I've watched it growing

If you're list'ning God
Please don't make it hard to know
If we should believe in the things that we see
Tell us, should we run away
Should we try and stay
Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here, in this brand new world
Might be a fantasy
But it taught me to love
So it's real, real to me

And I've learned
That we must look inside our hearts
To find a world full of love
Like yours
Like me

Like home...