SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

tatkala aku terdiam, mengenang dirimu.
yang jauh di mata tetapi sering di minda.
aku menangis malam ini, Ramadhan jangan kau pergi.
aku rindu.
rindu merasa dekat dengan Illahi.
namun aku tahu diriku ini sangat kecil,
tidak setanding dengan yang pergi.
kerna aku masih di dunia ini.
terus berusaha mencari ibadah dan pahala untuk masa nanti.
Ramadhan, kau sungguh mulia.
datang lagi aku ingin kau tiba.
harap kita berjumpa lagi.
harap aku tidak terlambat nanti.

Selamat Hari Raya in advance to all my muslim friends, foes and bitches.
Maaf di pinta kepada semua.
this sound so insincere but really it is. hah.

HEYY!!
its been like donkey years since i last updated.. been busy with 'work'.. i havent log into blogger although im always on the computer at work because the system is so bloody slow taht it takes atleast 20minutes to upload a webpage!! whatheheck!!

soooooooooo many things happened...
firstly babyboy is on reservist this week till next so i wouldnt be seeing him at work when i pass by his workplace =(
break fast like all over the place.. Ella's place, Lia's aunt's place, Bugis, Marina Square.. all not on time because i finish work at 6pm.. argh!

i caught BangkokDangerous on Sunday and caught TonyOrlando's concert at the IndooorStadium on Tuesday. i won a pair of tickets courtesy of 8Days! cool or whatt?!? i won the lucky number tenth pair of tickets to be won!! ahaha.. talk about luck!!

im still in love with Mr.Joseph Hall =)

boring day

today marks the 10th day of Ramadhan.. and i am already hearing raya songs on the radio. like what the heck?? dah sepuluh hari dah boleh hurray hurray ah gitu?? tsk..

i was so bored that i went bloghopping.. some random blogs which i found hilarious like Nani O's.. she's funny. her blog is exactly who she is in person.. like wow.. i couldnt do that even if i try to.. i watched music videos after music videos.. worked on my report.. meddle with my phone.. and i was still bored!! i cannot wait to spend my time with my boyfriend, friends, classmates and even my family!!! i got this from Nani's blog.. i hope she dont mind.. i think it means something=)

As they would say
Life's full of crap and downs
But do you believe me if i say
There are less smiles than frowns?

You say im unfair when you cry
Grateful was never when i make you smile
So instead you fall back on lies
When things doesnt always turn out right.

You approached me
With hopes and future plans
In the end i know you played me
Yet i still stayed with the same stupid man.

so Nani..... aha.

i was watching America's Got Talent and i was so amazed and mesmerized by one of the many Elvis Presley's impersonator, Joseph Hall. he was so bloody handsome... just like Mr Elvis Presley himself... singing Hound Dog.. boy, he did his thanggg!!! all the girls were screaming and cheering as if he was already some superstar.. even Sharon Osbourne had her jaw wide opened.
"you dont have to sing, you dont have to do anything... you stand there." (hahah)
when she asked his age and he said 23, "i have shoes that are older than you.. but i'd like to try you on.. but anyways....." (!!) horny!! hahaahahah!! but he was good, really. haha.



as easy as it comes, it goes kan baby...
sighs..


so, he's going back camp for the next two week.. boo. so fast.. im so going to miss him. its back to the i-dont-know-what-time-i'll-be-out-from-camp-tonight routine.. boo. i hate that, so hate that. and he knows it. hahaha.. evil impatient bitch. not to mention i'll be having my cycle soon.. die die baby die die.. hahaha.. kay crap..

back to the jungles eh love??

OMG!!! tomorrow is Sunday already???!!
i was just getting into the weekend!!!!
argghhhhh!!!!!
=(

i have been rushing home form work almost everyday to be in time for break fast. since i finish work at 6pm, i will only reach home at 730pm. not to mention the big everyday drama in the mrt train.. dont get me started.. ughh.. i havent heard the azan for 5days and i feel so empty. today was the first time i get to hear the azan to break fast and i was excited!! i keep giggling til my sister got irritated!! haahha!! so funnn!! teehee.

bought my baby his long awaited pair of boots.. im going to get myself a new phone.. i want to do something to my hair.. i want to get us raya clothes.. i want to go to Bali!!! arggghh!!!!

check out my work at Yishun Town=)

i think Singaporeans are so fucking selfish. heck, everyone's selfish. im so glad i asked the lady to get out from her seat (politely of course) to let a pregnant lady sit down in the mrt just now on the way home from work... Alhamdullilah. although the pregnant lady didnt show any sign of gratefullness, i was still glad i did it. i didnt notice everyone was staring at me till i looked around. hah. to hell with you people!! so selfish!!! the lady was standing helplessly (i think she was acting though.. haha!) in front of the Priority Seat and the person sitting in it can still look up and continue sleeping!!?!?! GOD!!!

to you:
yet again i poise questions to you.
you have yet to answer me on my previous ones.
what do you seek?
the passing wind that passes through your strands of hair that cools your skin but never beneath it? or the heatwaves of the sun that never fails to warm every corner of your being.
the wind comes and goes, but if you sit it out and wait... the sun will definitely peep through the sky; with rays of light poking through the clouds.
the sun? or the wind?
never live just for a moment of pleasure.
as surely as it comes, it goes.
leaving an unmistakable memory embeded in you.
yet scaring you as it passes.
think it through and make you stand.
do not falter.
you live only once.
you live your life the way you want to.
no one has the right to dictate how you live it.
fear 2 things in this world.
Allah and yourself.
you are your worst enemy.
nobody can hurt you if you dont allow them to.
be selfish.

i miss school!!

today marks the first day of Ramadhan, a month of holy and all goodness shall be repaid in its own way, insyAllah. i have always like this month of the year in the Islam calender. last year, i felt it alot but this year i dont feel the same way. last year, i wasnt hyped about Raya. that feeling is still stagnant, never change. i wasnt hype about doing terawih. i didnt do it today. i hope i get the strength and eagerness to face Him. ive done so much.

i finish my book on The Tapertries (i wonder if i spell it correctly). i borrowed it jus last week and i finished it. now i got nothing to do during my journey to and from work in the train. today was horrible. i had to stand all the way to Kallang and all the way back to Woodlands!! Singaporeans are really something. really. a pregnant lady or an old elderly can be standing in fornt of them and they can jus pretend to sleep!! i hope God repays your deeds when your wife turns pregnant in the future!

to you i say,
stop tormenting her.
to you i say,
stop giving her hopes and dreams.
to you i say,
be gone and never come back.
to you i say;
fuck off! your time has end.

give me your hand.
i want to tell you that i love you.
even if you're not with me and found happiness somewhere,
you will always be in my heart.
i couldnt bear to see or hear you get hurt.
nevertheless, i couldnt do anything because you dont allow me to.
so i shall stand here in the rain,
just watching you bear the pain.
how my heart aches,
for i couldnt be a helping hand.
i want to make it better.
i'd give the world to you.
how i want to make you realise that its been there in front of you,
just waiting for you to reach it.
but you were too afraid.
afraid that it wouldnt be okay,
that everything will go all wrong,
and you'd be back to square one.
the words you utter doesnt make sense to your actions.
i am a friend.
and i'd rather hurt you then see anybody else do.
this is as honest as i will get.
and i hope you get to read this.
you are like your mother.
so stop and think, before you get any worse.
"you wont be like you mother/father"
you are acting like one, mama.

you were doing fine.
till i lost track of you.
you were having fun.
i didnt want to stop you.
then it start to get worse.
one after another.
you start to lose control.
let your emotions take control.
now i've really lost you.
you didnt seem to want to come back.
your body is here, yes.
but your heart, mind and soul drifts to liebe.

i do not hate him i dont. its you i hate. what are you doing?? hasnt he done enough?? remember what you say to me, that this is done and no more? so where did all those words go? it is just for show?? i am in no position to judge, but i have to say so that you know. yes, im a coward. i dont dare to say it in your face. maybe i didnt know how. i couldnt bear to see the look on your face when i do. i'd rather slit my throat and die.

im sorry i hurt you.