Just a Seat

The bustles and race of the morning race

The tiredness of yesterday has not yet cured but another day has arrive

Unable to succumb, different emotions stirred up

Led to ugly situations and irrational measures.

Its just a seat.

Clearly one example in China, one do not understand when a seat has been taken up.

What do you do? Fight for the seat.

What did it led you? A published story of yourself showcasing your disrespectful act to the entire world.

Worth it? For just a seat?

Its just a seat.

Yes, we get it you're tired from work.

Thing is, we all are.

You're not the only person in the island who is staying in Tampines but working in Boon Lay.

We always hope for a seat.

But if there isn't, there isn't.

So what?

Its just a seat.

Its just a seat.

Dear God...

Some things i am just unable to express. This depression is taking far too long and too deep for me to bear. Smiles and laughter are all i crave for. To a point of turning to media alternatives, oh how pathetic my life is getting to be. Despite the mask i wear, its wearing thin. Some people are beginning to see my skin. And so i go in hiding once more, creating a new mask for me to wear.

Dear God, i dont have anything else to ask of you. Except my dignity and happiness. Please please i beg of you please, put me far away from doing harm to my heart. Please spare my heart this time. I am strong, but my heart is not. Its too fragile this time.

Dear God, im unable to convey the desires of my heart. My mind tries to find the words for it but nothing sums it up. Because i know you know very well what i need.

Dear God, im sorry for neglecting you. But you do know youre always in my mind, my heart and in every breathe that i take. Im sorry if i act like i dont care. Oh God.

Con-fuse-ion

Its funny when someone assumes that you are feeling a certain way, when you are not even in that state. But whats more ironic is that it makes you think if you really are feeling that way. And then this confusion starts to twirl in your stomach and make you ache just a little, because you feel useless as you are not even able to feel "correctly".

Why does this happen? Personally for me, its due to expectations.
Expectations are tricky. They allow growth and development for yourself; like setting a goal and expecting to achieve it. But what it also does is that it fools your mind in thinking that you can do it, and when you fail to meet the expectations you have set, it crushes not your mind, but your heart into a million shattered pieces. Worse, it leaves you there... alone... to pick up those "worthy" pieces for you to try again.

And now comes the point of how i brag about the power of the heart and its ability to influence the mind... to me its utter nonsense. I chose to stand the side where the mind has such an amazing talent to overrule the powers of the heart and that is oblivion or simply put, mind-fucking. Once your mind master this talent, you will be able to block out unnecessary feelings such as sadness and disappointment and feel absolutely carefree from unnecessary stress that do not benefit you in life.

Try it, you might love it.

Fashion Inspiration

I never really put a label on myself, as who do i look for as an inspiration when dressing up. Ive always thought im a little more to Rihanna side, but after much research, i found that im more to a Sarah Jessica Parker.
Pictures speak a thousand words.
Leggo.

Definitely a boho chic.
I really do not mind walking on the streets in this outfit.
I love this outfit.

Of course, im also one of the boys.
But with a little on the feminine side.
And this outfit says it all. Love.

And on rainy days like we are having now, i will definitely put this on.
Leather boots and leather jacket.
Leather up babes.

Lastly, every girl wants her own white wedding dress.
This is mine. Period.

"Heat" is coming

Ramadhan. In Arabic, literally means the hot month.
"If you think Singapore is hot already, boy you should be in Syria during the fasting month," quoted by Ustadz Fizar Zainal, Education Manager Masjid Al Iman.
Speaking at an event organized by SyababSG, mainly targeted to our younger generation, the Terawih Cup was held at Masjid Sultan in conjunction of welcoming the month of Ramadhan which is around the corner with its main goal in mind; to help prepare our youths for this 'quest' or 'journey' to match with their ever so busy lifestyles as a student or even working aduts.

Ustadz Fizar defined Ramadhan as a "Summer Institute". Just like a normal institute, you need classes, teachers, mentoring, remedials, mock exams and of course finally the real exam itself. The human body needs time to adjust when one is fasting, therefore in the month of Syaaban or more so during Nisfu Syaaban, Muslims are encouraged to fast. It is also to commemorate Nisfu Syaaban, where
"It is the special night of seeking forgiveness and repenting to Allah, remembering past sins and sincerely settling the mind that one will never commit sins in the future. All the deeds that are against Shari’ah must be totally avoided so that our Du’a and Istighfaar, hopefully, will be accepted." - Wikipedia.

Ustadz Fizar also shared to his young audience why do Muslims need to fast.
For 3 simple reasons:
1) "Laallakoom Tattaqoon.
As it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous.
2) Laallakoom Tashkuruun.
Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for your hardship and wants for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for which He has guided you and perhaps you will be grateful.
3) Sin Eliminator.
"Whoever prayed at night out of sincere faith and hoping for a reward from Allah then all his previous sins will be forgiven." - Abu Huraira."
He then posted a question which left many several doubtful faces in the audience,
"Is fasting special for Muslims?"
Many nods and uncertain "yes, it is,..." were heard from the audience.
And Ustadz Fizar simply answered,
"No, fasting is not special for us. Other religion fasts as well. Christian, Hindus, etc. So fasting is not special, our solat is,"
and then there was an outburst of "ahhhhhhs" from the audience in enlightenment.

So how do we maintain our daily routine while fasting? Just like a battery, we need to 'charge' our body in order to carry on with our daily routine while fasting.
Ustadz Fizar gave us 3 keys to keep in mind of: 
1)Physical Recharge - to purify the body.
This means to get rid or to stop bad eating habits such as eating fast food, smoking, etc.
2)Mental Recharge - to discipline the mind.
With our body purified, now comes the mental challenge to remain purified. Challenges such as the urge to smoke, time to eat and lowered gaze will be easily overcome when we achieved a purified body state.
3)Spiritual Recharge
Now this stage is the most difficult. Spiritual Recharge can only be achieve through practices of patience, perseverance, prayers, ibadah, etc. This is what keeps us close to Allah.

He also cautioned the member of the audience of the challenges from within that one will face. As they say, during the month of Ramadhan, all the Syaitans are tied up; so why are there still wrongdoings occurring in this holy month?
Hence, he explained to us that it is the forces of Iman, Taqwa and Ihsan playing a huge role for this to occur.
Iman - is the remembrance of Allah; where is He in our heart? And the constant "what will Allah say?" before doing a certain action.
Taqwa - the fear of Allah. This fear is nothing but the conscious mind thinking of wanting to do good deeds so as to be placed with whom Allah love.
Ihsan - the absence of sympathy/ insensitivity. This Ustadz Fizar explained with an example.
"Its almost break fast and you have a Ramli Burger, chicken murtabak, air katira and nasi pattaya. And there is a guy sitting next to you and he can only afford a loaf of bread or even a glass of water. And you do not even care about that guy. Now that is absence of ihsan."

To sum up his speech, Ustadz Fizar gave us 6 tips for us to make full use of during the Ramadhan.
1) Do not see what displeases Allah.
2) Do not speak of what displeases Allah.
Always chant "I am fasting, i am fasting" to remind ourselves to not speak ill.
3) Do not hear of what displeases Allah.
4) Do not do of what displeases Allah.
5) Avoid overeating.
6) Look to Allah with fear and hope.


"Dating in the month of Ramadhan is allowed. Date with who? With Allah, Quran, terawih and Lailatulqadar," said Ustadz Fizar as he ended his speech.

Now that is a lot of tips and reminders for us to take note of. In Islam i believe, it is never difficult. Islam is easy; easy to understand, easy to do. If you do not know, ask. If you do not understand, seek knowledge. So friends, let us prepare ourselves with the challenges that we might meet in Ramadhan and let us use it wisely by performing terawih and reading of the Quran. And hopefully our deeds performed will be accepted by the Al-Mighty, Insyallah.

Source - Terawih Cup, SyababSG

Lauched and away

I have just 'launched' out my new blog dedicated for my DIY sessions. So most probably any DIY sessions that i will be having in the future will be updated there. Im nervous excited because i really hope people would atleast visit that blog. I have put in so much effort to find out about advertisements and whatnots these famous bloggers does. Because personally i have been keeping a private profile of having a blog because its an alternative platform of ranting that i can turn to. So with this other blog, i hope it will have a great turnout. That friends, strangers, would visit to have inspiration or be inspired by my works. Of course i still have alot more to learn and improve. Like for instance the way i blog about the session. I need to start taking pictures of every step. Lets see how it goes. More pictures means more. Thats what ive learnt. I mean im only glued to the words if it has an interesting title. There you go, ive learnt something new again. Fret not, you can visit it at http://sparkledinspiration.blogspot.sg
With love.

Rantsss

Goodbye June. Hello July.

This year June was the worst June i ever experienced. I will remember 2012 June forever.
A month engulfed with disappointments and anger.

Despite the fact i get to spend my birthday overseas, it did not turn out that well.
One, it was my uncle who initiated the 'pizza-cake'.
Two, my dad was in his room while everyone was in my grandmother's because she was sick. Obviously he had no clue about the 'sing a birthday song for azi night'.
Three, i was 'bullied' on my birthday; which of course nobody cared because they already 'celebrated' the night before with the pizza. I cried hours before it ended.
Four,... im just too disappointed to write it down because ... well just because.

So from this month on, i made a vow to myself; that i will never celebrate anyone's birthday anymore. I owe it to myself the very least. The fact that i went all out for other people's birthday only to be treated as such. No more. Thank you God for showing me; that only You matter on this Earth and the very purpose of me existing here is to do deed to You. I am grateful that i am lucky enough to be able to go on a trip even though i just started working. I am grateful i have such a united family. I am grateful i have such wonderful friends. I am grateful to You for showing me this light that they do not care about me other that You. So thank you.

If you're wondering why im such in a pissing mood, this is why. Its been bottling up inside for a while and im just waiting for June to end so that i can rant this out. Because time will never go back and no one can ever make this up. No one.
I so glad i am a person who can is comfortable in her own skin and go anywhere or do anything alone. I so glad i bought stuff for myself. I am so glad about everything that i did despite the fact that its not sensible of me to do so. I am so glad i have this blog to convey my feelings to.
I am glad.