Just a Seat

The bustles and race of the morning race

The tiredness of yesterday has not yet cured but another day has arrive

Unable to succumb, different emotions stirred up

Led to ugly situations and irrational measures.

Its just a seat.

Clearly one example in China, one do not understand when a seat has been taken up.

What do you do? Fight for the seat.

What did it led you? A published story of yourself showcasing your disrespectful act to the entire world.

Worth it? For just a seat?

Its just a seat.

Yes, we get it you're tired from work.

Thing is, we all are.

You're not the only person in the island who is staying in Tampines but working in Boon Lay.

We always hope for a seat.

But if there isn't, there isn't.

So what?

Its just a seat.

Its just a seat.

Dear God...

Some things i am just unable to express. This depression is taking far too long and too deep for me to bear. Smiles and laughter are all i crave for. To a point of turning to media alternatives, oh how pathetic my life is getting to be. Despite the mask i wear, its wearing thin. Some people are beginning to see my skin. And so i go in hiding once more, creating a new mask for me to wear.

Dear God, i dont have anything else to ask of you. Except my dignity and happiness. Please please i beg of you please, put me far away from doing harm to my heart. Please spare my heart this time. I am strong, but my heart is not. Its too fragile this time.

Dear God, im unable to convey the desires of my heart. My mind tries to find the words for it but nothing sums it up. Because i know you know very well what i need.

Dear God, im sorry for neglecting you. But you do know youre always in my mind, my heart and in every breathe that i take. Im sorry if i act like i dont care. Oh God.

Con-fuse-ion

Its funny when someone assumes that you are feeling a certain way, when you are not even in that state. But whats more ironic is that it makes you think if you really are feeling that way. And then this confusion starts to twirl in your stomach and make you ache just a little, because you feel useless as you are not even able to feel "correctly".

Why does this happen? Personally for me, its due to expectations.
Expectations are tricky. They allow growth and development for yourself; like setting a goal and expecting to achieve it. But what it also does is that it fools your mind in thinking that you can do it, and when you fail to meet the expectations you have set, it crushes not your mind, but your heart into a million shattered pieces. Worse, it leaves you there... alone... to pick up those "worthy" pieces for you to try again.

And now comes the point of how i brag about the power of the heart and its ability to influence the mind... to me its utter nonsense. I chose to stand the side where the mind has such an amazing talent to overrule the powers of the heart and that is oblivion or simply put, mind-fucking. Once your mind master this talent, you will be able to block out unnecessary feelings such as sadness and disappointment and feel absolutely carefree from unnecessary stress that do not benefit you in life.

Try it, you might love it.