prayer mat

He, i always believe in. who gives me faith and conscience that i can rely on. He, who taught me things my parents cant, wouldnt and shant. He, whom i love with all my heart even though sometimes i forgot. He, who i am ashame of all my sins and wrongdoings. He, who i bows to. He, who i believe loves me too.

i woke up today, a heavy heart and mind. i got out of bed and cleanse myself. i said a silent prayer as i carefully took my wuduk. i feel a little enlightment in my heart, i always do. i dress myself to face before Him. all white, neat and tidy. my commitment to Him now, no other in my head. not even my beloved, this love cannot be divided. on the last bow, it seemed as time stood still. i cry before the Mightyness, tears streaming down my cheeks. as my head lifts from the prayer mat, i felt a little magic. a sensation in my heart. i hope silently, that my prayers would come true. after i greet goodbye to the prayer, i look up to the sky. with blurry vision, i prayed hard and cry.

dear god, please forgive me. for forgetting you and neglecting you, only to turn to you in times of need. i am ashame of my being. i do not deserve to be upon you. ive been here before, you know i will pull through.

dear god, i love you. i need your guidance, oh One and Only. i tried all means i could. im at lost, i need you. show me the right path to get through this. ive took this as a challenge, because you love me and want to prove.

dear god, i ask for your forgiveness. for mine and all that is involved. you have given something i cant handle, its too much for me.

dear god, please forgive me. i am shameful as i am. im a helpless slave in life and you are the powerful one. please god help me and guide me through. i need you, i do. forgive me. forgive me.