as i make my proper exit out of the door, i looked back into the mirror hung at the doorway. my face was pale and sad. i put on my running shoes, sunk my teeth in the face towel i took from the kitchen drawer and said my goodbye to mum. i did my stretching at the staircase landing while sms-ing my dear one that im off for a run. "i need a run," i told him. and off i go.

my heart started to pump in adrenaline i long forgotten. my blood rushes through my body, the feeling of exploding any minute i could tell. but my feet still keep chasing each other. my head keep telling itself to continue, dont ever stop. i start to feel an ache on one side of my ribs. im breathing harder and shorter. a hot tingling sensation at the back of my neck, shifts itself towards my face and to the rest of my body. the cool breeze didnt do any good for me.

as my stop drew near, my feet completely stop. "this will do. let's end here," my head chanted. so i walked. and walked. and make another round. my calf starts to burn, my chest instantly cries for help. but i continued walking. bits of perspiration trickled down my neck and face, i let the wind engulf me. i so longed for this pain, agony and excitement.

in respect, i give.
in love, i protect.

i've been sucha busy rascal lately.. with projects and assignments to be done individually.. running around with friends and family. i have so no time for myself. but today i got the chance to sit down and read a book, a hobby none knew of. the December edition of the Seventeen magazine is out ya'll!! Koon's wedding reception was okay, first experience of a Chinese wedding reception. very different indeed.

oh James, where the hell you get my link lahh?? Denise doesnt have it idiot! =)

prasan nak mampos la kau.

my Japanese-influenced sister just send her regards to us through the email. she seem estatic and excited all at the same time. haha.. staying with one of the Japanese families there, free shopping and eating spree.. so fun. damn lucky brat. hahaa...

Nur's mum had a baby girl! im so excited to see the newborn healthy baby..

its amazing and ridiculous how much time people have in their hands and use it to do stupid things like flood other blogger's tagboard with hate tags.. takde keje lain pe? your life so boring uh?? knn. nothing better to do la this people. until you want to invade people's family blog. seriously pscyho stalker. it just shows what kind of person you are. a moron.

spit at all the things that you claim its true.
because i know where you got that from.
the internet is so huge and wide.
like your big fat ass.
you can get whatever you want from the internet.
think im that dumb to believe you've changed?
i spit at that too.

i shall get on to my research for my projects.
procastinating flag coming up. ugh.

starbucks with girlfriend was fun. i brought out my laptop for her t update her blog (so sweet right?? i know... hee). we talked about almost everything.. i miss that. yes, i do.

its funny how people change so dramatically through the years. somethings i wonder if its the situation we are in or just time that change us completely.. its really hard to explain. plus im not very good with words.

"life is like painting a picture. its difficult.
you need the right set of paint, brushes, canvas, size...
but most importantly, you need to know what picture you're painting.
the message you're conveying. the purpose.
if you do not have the inspiration to draw that picture, the painting will come out lifeless and it wont be attractive or people wont buy it because there is no significance and viewed as worthless.
nothing in a sense. its difficult..."

projects are coming up like whipped cream on a ice blended mocha. i need my energy, my motivation and strength to get this semester over and done with flying colours. i want a 3. i want a 3. im tired, restless and want to have fun now. i need to get back to my books. i need to.

thank you Siew Boon for the lovely present. its so nice to be remembered. thank you.

years have passed and its you he still remembers.
i really cannot compete with you.
i know where i stand.
i am not capable to do all that.
if i have the means and privilege, i wouldnt even want to do it.
because i have morale and conscious.
i take pride in my dignity.
yet, i still dont know why he still remembers you.
im ashamed and im throwing the white flag for i cant fight any longer.
its painful even not to do so.
therefore i congratulate you on your battle already won before it start.
im ashamed and torn.

take care at Japan you little brat.

attention

she's a primadona in reverse.. nothing but attention excite her.. i dont know why exactly, but she seeks attention from people who wouldnt care less about her. isnt that sad? or is it just childish? or just plain stupid? i dont know that either. it affects alot of people and getting on their last good nerves. i say, screw that person who came up with the phrase, love is blind.

school just started today. i have 6 modules altogether. can i add 6 LAST modules. how awesome is that huh? im going to graduate like in 4months time. pity to those who arent tough, cool or smart enough to stay on the ride to get the certificate. for whatever reason; you're sucha loser. maybe you could consider taking higher nitec, or just plain nitec for what matters. nowadays it helps, really. if not, just continue sucking dicks alright.

im so moody and angry. please ignore the vulgarities and whatnots above. its happening again and i absolutely hate this. this emotional rollercoaster keep making me want to puke and im sucha party-pooper for stopping the ride. everybody hates me now. im sorry guys.

im craving for delicious fried chicken wings with awesome spicy sambal belacan like the one at MarinaSquare FoodCourt. i so want to go BedokCorner and Timber. pleasant, house-warming atmosphere excite me and my dining experience. i love good food. kan sayang? hah

so what shall i do about this huh? this primadona wont stand down. the next time is already here, yet i let it slip away. again. this primadona need and seriously better stand down.

"you wouldnt want to see her cheebai face,"
i beg to defer. it wont be a face anymore when i see it.

psycho killer. kill the psycho.
yeahh..

what?

stand down.
we're taking over.

BACK TO SCHOOL YAWW!

HURRAYY!!
TODAY MARKS THE LAST DAY OF INTERNSHIP!
IM BACK TO SCHOOL YAWWW!!

god i miss school. seriously. i miss 'listening' to lecturers...i miss crapping with SiewBoon and Firdauz. i miss laughing with Jackson,Rachel and Tang En. i miss my classmates lahh!!
till the day i graduate. cant wait!! =)

beloved,
i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. i didnt want to talk or do anything; given the choice i didnt want to go to work. its a fucked up feeling to wake up and see messages of you still out. 3am, 4am i can still take it if im told beforehand. but fucking 7am and not knowing? how you feel if you were in my shoes?? you know you know you'll be meeting me later, fine, you didnt know it'll end late. fine. but you said, you ensured, you'll meet me. but what happen? fine, i forgive you. i know and i expected it. i didnt take it against you. but the very next day you want to go buy a piece of plastic?? didnt you think of making up to me?? you start early too right? can meet me right? if i am that important you would, wont you? but instead you chose that piece of plastic. you could ask someone to buy it for you kan if you 'didnt care', given the choice?? (this is what i meant, do you understand now?)
i'll talk to you about the other part soon.

i was bloghopping and i was very very amused by a particular blogger. her expressions was awesome. never have i encounter such an article. its superb. to think she's a spoilt brat. hah. i hope she's not reading this. but i admire her, really. she's a walking idol. i wish im bold enough to highlight my hair of that shade. i wish im courageous enough to go for my dream careeer. i wish my vocabulary was as superb as hers. hah.
yeah, kalau ye pon edit la makcik oii.. love that. haha

To succeed is easier than to fail