abbreviation

my hands are shaking and my core hands are red.. its been a long time since i played a game, a ball game ( i miss playing softball so muchh), and i had the sweetest fun in such a long time. thank god i was in the same group as Huai Xin, she can read me.. somehow.. not as well though. haha.. Raymond was good man.. and James was as his usual self, all all that. *insert smirk face*

i was damn tired after that session. slept in class for a while before my presentation for Entrepreneurship. i hate this module cann!??! i dont understand why we must work with them??! its 2 for their them lehh.. 4 for us!! how fucking unfair is that??! its not important to them lahh!! but its my grade damnit. stupid lahh.. grr!!

damn, i cant type properly.. my last two fingers are shaking like mad lahh.. god.. its damn scary lahh..

me, myself and i.
im a very angry person. i will scream in your face when you get in my way. i can take a punch. a guy's punch, mind you. i know im good. i know im smart. i know im a good listener. i know i can work it. i dont care what people say about me. i get angry when people prefer my friends more than me. what?? i can do what she does. so what the fuck with the biasness?? i know i can bring down a guy in just one move. i like to stand out,being different from everybody else. im all that.

me,myself and i.
im bad at first impressions. the way i speak, does not match the emotions i intended to portray and thus people dont understand. family and loved ones get hurt. im shy and prefer to keep quiet most of the times. which leads to people think im proud and arrogant. i trust people easily. when im angry, i keep quiet. let myself settle down, and i'll be fine again. i wont move when i get punched. it angers people and would want to hit me the second time. i though i was being polite. im dumb. im not stupid. im dumb. its different. i always try to fit in. i always try to make people feel good, so that they have fun and hope that they would think im fun too. im all that.

i miss Diidi. hope you're doing fine darling..

i miss her lahh cann!!!

kicks off her heels and her tight fit skirt.
"damn i have a nice butt"
better not lose it.
she worked hard for it.

she misses him so. now that time doesnt wait for her and she doesnt have the time in the world anymore. priorities keep getting in the way, though he was as important. still, she feels bad. the man she loves, she hasnt seen for what seem like years. she misses him so. lets not dirft part you two.

me and you

a whole new world.
just you and me.
where we can always be together.
just being real.
no restrictions. no rules.
no bitches. no worries.
just you and me.
how beautiful would it be, dont you think??

paranoid is a word i hate to use, feel, think and do. i dislike you being paranoid. i dislike it. it means you dont trust me. its just the same as what happen on sunday night. only on monday morning you told me about it. why you can and i cant? i have friends too. friends i confide, share and advice. i cant deny the feeling isnt that strong anymore. the three words seem meaningless. it doesnt mean that i dont. im confused. maybe im just accused.

i dont understand boys.
heck, i dont even want to start typing.
i'll just never get them. and they'll never get us, ladies.
*flaps hair*
*shrugss*

we need to talk. yes, this one's for you.

"hot ass"

sleeping boots

i wore my sleeping boots to school today.
all except Raymond and Denise think they look cute.
my boyfriend thinks i look stupidly cute in them.
haha!
i was feeling lazy so.. WHATEVER PEOPLE!!

fate fate fate.
or is it coincidence?? hmm..

i saw Sab today.
Audrey and Azlan too.
Siew Boon says im a loner, with no topic to start a conversation.
Jackson thinks my boots are imaginary driving pedals..
vrroomm vrroomm vrroooooommmm!!
i told him he can step on them with his white slippers off.
i was surprise he listened to me without turning into the IncredibleHulk.
i realised i have loads to do for projects, which i failed to start till now.
ohya, i love dancing to Neyo's "Closer" and Grease movie "We Go Together".
did i just say i dance??
yeah i dance.
in my room. just the four walls as my audience.
even my boyfriend dont get to see me dance choeographically.
i dont even know if there is sucha word. haha!!

touch your body can?? hee.

we drank to youth sunday night

"Wicked Aura!
BATUCADA!
Wicked Aura!
BATUCADAAAAAA!!!!"
WHOOO!!!
*insert frantic screams*

ahha! i had fun fun fun yesterday, despite whatever. babyboy came to my place to put his huge ass bag and shoe bag before the both of us head for town. initially the plan was movie first then Esplanade, but there wasnt any movie timing that was any earlier than 630pm.. so we both walked over to Esplanade slowly but surely (haha!).. waited for the Dynamic Duo(though there was three people..lol) performing SuperHeores at Esplanade Concourse. they were awesome by the way.. funny guys.. we were seated infront so i think i was the only one moving to the very first song they played. haha! crazy girl. 730pm head for StageHouse along Esplanade.. didnt know the turnout was spectacularr!! found Leia and Deeana in the middle of the crowd, dancing and grooving to the beautiful and upbeat songs from WICKED AURA BATUCADA!! awesome awesome people!! whoo! i started dancing too! haha.. then Faz and Nana came just as they end their first performance. so we waited for the second performance and this time we were right in front of the stage.. smelly and sweaty people now.. hahaha!! jumped, danced, screamed, swayed, putting my hands in the air like i just dont care = AWESOME!!!! with babyboy by my side too. hee. we asked for encore and they give it to us!! COOL OR WHATTT???!!! i love the last song!! RAYMOND GIVE IT TO ME BABEH!! hahaha!! saw Raymond on the way out of the crowd with his soccermates. he was impressed by the performance and bought their cd! COOL!! end =)

time to get ready for school. boo.
haha.

I WANT THE PICTURES FAZZY WAZZY AND MAMA DRAMA!!!

okay..
lemme take a break from my stressful project.
i have yet to touch Coaching..
bad bad azi..
gahh.. is eriously need to buck up!!

can we bring yesterday back around.
cause i know how i feel about you now.
i was dumb, i was wrong, i let you down.
but i know how i feel about you now.

my retard friends.
they make me smile, laugh, scream, angry and even have the feeling of killing them. seriously, they are the weirdest bunch i ever had. sometimes i wish we were as honest as the Olsen twins. we are our mirror images of each other. i love them alot and will do anything for them. as time goes by, the sentence changes. it become "i love them and will do what i can for them, if they allows me to." i dont know if thats a good thing or not. in a mature way, yes it is. spare me a little here. im finding out myself. nevertheless, they are the ones i hold close dearly. which sometimes i hate it. they dont. why should i? i mean, when did they ever put us first? its tiring and hard work to get us together.. we never get together. not all of us. we didnt quarrel, did we? so why are we staying away form each other?? tell me if i hurt you. so that i know. so that i can make it up to you. do not dissapear and go off with your other friends dancing and goofing off in the middle of the night and make it seem as if i, or the girls dont exist. we are Bitchalization right? i dont see it now. seriously. do you? but what is it to the name huh.. it doesnt matter. so as long as we stick together.. we will, wont we?

ticktockticktock.
times running out on me.
the lights are on but there's no one home.
she's out with her pretty pretty boys she calls friends.

my pretty pretty friends

reminisce
wth did i do til its so wrong for you to even look at me in the eye? was it something i said or am i just being too close? remember what happened the last time? i dont understand and i dont want to understand. im tired of being there. there, there. you know? they find you. you confide in me. so what does that make me? im blessed. thank god. i love you. but im tired. im a human too. who wants to be pleased just like a normal human being. even you. its amazing how easy it is to please me. like a simple stupid sms that i usually send that made you smile or even laugh out loud. no hassle. no balloons or cards or party masks. or even fanciful outfit. maybe im just being paranoid. but it hurts deep inside. im still hurt.

now
i just thought it was stupid. thats why i didnt say anything when you confide in me. because this is us. us. you know, us. the us would never take that issue to heart and it wouldnt even matter. but then again.. being us, we're honest with each other. we ought to be upset with each other.. to be rude to each other. but both of us know that at the end of the day it meant nothing. i thought it was that way. but i understand. so totally understand. it didnt matter. i knew something was wrong and i knew it was me. thats why i didnt go in the water. i wasnt on the phone with tim. but i didnt want it to be a big matter and terbawak-bawak.. i guess you were just tired. i knew you would be upset when you read this. im never good at talking.. im sorry. really im sorry.

too many emotions and happenings lately.
i had fun with Diidi, Nad, Dee, Wan, Nana and Lia on Friday.

//who the fuck ask you to putar belit your words?

i miss you soldier.
i fucking miss you.

where you'd go?

"he was so mean!!" she said.
i didnt thought he was.
i just thought he misunderstood me.
i was on his side.
damnit, i was on both sides.
stupid. stupid.
whatever.

//dont write my name on your blog.
its a simple request.
can you do it?

reading mama's very long entry made me realise that i've been through alot..
just that i dont write it down.
it also made me realise the degree of honesty i display on my blog.
like you can read someone else's blog and the person can talk about all the lovey dovey stuff..
but in fact its not all that perfect and lovey dovey at all or on certain days.
and it made the blog so fucking fake..
like bitch, you liar.. thats not what happen or you didnt write the shit you went through..
something like that..
only mama knows what i mean.. haha

//im speaking in general.
dont be too hard on yourself, aight.

so anyway, im wont be going to school tomorrow..
im looking forward to the job next thursday at NYP..
i dont even know what award show sehh.. and its in my school..
hahha..
50bucks here i come!!
hehe..
damn i have never skipped class for a job before..
bad azi, bad.....
*roll eyes.

i dont wish to care about the world for a day.
maybe an hour. or even a minute.
i wish i could live life the way i imagine.
with fluffy boots and big hair and ridiculous spectacle frames.
oversized dresses and bikini wear and big big sun hats.
how i wish people wouldnt judge or discriminate.
and not be competitive or wanting to always look the best.
or have the best outfit which costs like a BOOMMBBBB!
just appreciate creativity and the way things are.
like in the movie SEX AND THE CITY (which i must say was the best!!haha)
walking around in your own creative design and stylish outfit.
and people complementing you and making you feel good and special.
wouldnt that be nice??
world peace, hell yeah man.

im digging this shit

the moment i bleed

i kept rolling and turning..
tears streaming down my face..
the image i could see still.
that look upon your face.
i could still hear your laughter.
how anguished i felt.
i could literally felt the anger.
thats burning deep inside of me.

i wanna pound you down and kick you in the curb.
i swear i would kill you for touching your lips to his.
this moment i froze.
this moment im betrayed.
this moment i pray.
i'll never see this day again.

thanks Diana darling for sticking out for me. i love you. let them be.im tired of this.

imma superstar

i shall and i will stop being nice.
by far i hate you now.
i hate you.

i hate you.

this boots are made for walking.

One Republic
Say (All I Need)

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong but nothing's, turned out how you want it

Well bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head

Do you know what you're fate is?
And now you're trying to shake it?
You're doing you're best dance, your best look
You're praying that you'll make it

Well bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold
Well, all I need is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head

Say all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head

Do you think I can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it, better than you had it?

Do you think I can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it(yeah)
Better than you had it?(better than you had it?)

Say all I need, is the air I breathe, and a place, to rest my head
Say all I need, is the air I breathe, and a place, to rest my head

Do you know where the end is?
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say...

you're all i need.

Happy Birthday to Me

pictures from my birthday celebration.

as at 7th and 9th June.

cool huh.

i've had two celebration.

haha.. who can top that?? lol.

my newly beloved boyfriends..
lets list them down, shall we? hee.

// Creative Headphones (LOVE IT!!)

// A dozen Blue Roses (MY FAVOURITE!!)

// 5 diamond-ed necklace (are you kidding me?? im only 19!)

// A BillaBong Charm Bracelet (yey!yey!)

// Ballerina necklace (thanks Nad and Diidi.. love you both)

// Jamaican hat (THANKS RAJ!!)

// A birthday card attached to a knitted cat (the sweetest ever.. thks mama)

// Bouquet of lollipops (from Fazzy Wazzy)

// A handbag (from my aunty)

// A mini-fan (from my handsome cousin)

// Assesories (from Lynnie darling)

// A glass Birthday wish (from Azrin)

i want to thank everybody who came yesterday..

Lia, Faz, Hairul, Diidi, Nad, Ashraf, Haikal, Hafiz, Din, Azrin, Lynn, Siraj, Khai.

thank you for taking the time-off to celebrated my birthday..

special thanks to Lee and Faz;

for what's its worth, i love you.

my babyboy;

you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

yes, i had an unforgettable 19th birthday.

you want to make it perfect, and yes it did.

i had you, my family and my friends for my birthday, and that was what i wanted.

and its all because of you.

you made it happen.

and i thank you.
i thank you for loving me the way you do.

i thank you for wanting to make me happy always and forever.

i thank you for having me part of your life.

i thank you sayang.

i love you baby.

next up, our first year anniversary.

*grins.

June Birthdays

pictures from Ismail's 24th birthday party.
so cool.

Happy Birthday to Ang Jasmin Sylvia =)

i have one more day of hell which is tomorrow..
i dont know how in the world am i going to remember all 3modules..
all of them are jumbled up in my head right now and i have to unwind to be stable again so that i can study properly and not mix the modules up..
gahhhhh!!!
im so damn stressss!!

ciao yall

this sure is fun.